For over 30 years, Treat has counseled many Christians who have dated non-Christians.
According Treat, the most common relationship issues that all dating couples experience are, “Communication, resolving conflict, and dealing with woundedness.” Treat is the author several books, his most recent, “Couples in Treatment” (by Weeks & Treat). Matthews Baptist Church, in Williamstown, New Jersey (Rev.
Black underscores a poignant point regarding dating connections, compatibility and culture, “Most dating for Christians and non-Christians is fundamentally connection through recreation. I could point out that dating done by whoever is implicitly about discovering levels of compatibility and how to make strategic decisions about levels of compatibility and happiness …
The Bible unfolds its message within a historical and shifting cultural context so that (it’s) about Christians living as God-centered people in the midst of any culture — pleasured centered, oppressive, socially liberal or conservative.”Dr.
Evans is senior pastor of Oak Cliff Bible Fellowship, in Dallas, Texas.
Evans is also president of The Urban Alternative, and the author of the best-selling book, “Kingdom Man.”Dr. D., a.k.a., The Marriage Doctor, weighed in with this comment, “The focus and direction are different (for both types of dating couples) …
Treat earned his doctorate in ministry from Andover Newton Theological Seminary, and he’s a licensed family therapist.Do Christian couples date differently than secular couples?Both Christian and secular dating couples have many similar characteristics, but according to relationship experts, clergy leaders, faithful Christians and others, there are some unique nuances that distinguish Christian couples from secular couples. Tony Evans, one of America’s top clergymen, “The fundamental difference between Christian dating and worldly dating is that you marry to date, not date to marry.People are going to try and point to 2 Corinthians as Biblical proof that you shouldn’t date an unbeliever. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? ” In truth, making this verse about not being in a romantic relationship with a non-believer isn’t a good interpretation of what Paul was really getting at when he wrote these words.We really want this verse (or any verse) to be all about dating and marriage to a non-Christian because it would make this whole conversation a lot easier.“Alternatively, in the secular world, dating is often looked at as a way of getting to know many people, and marriage may not play a part in the mind of either (secular) person.”Christina Eve Vidales, a model and executive Ddirector of Royalty Spa Collections, in Phoenix, Arizona, shared, “There is a tremendous difference, and no way a correlation between the two.Christians, in seeking the will of God on whom He chooses for one to marry, would begin (courting) once (they received) God’s confirmation, then they prepare for holy matrimony. (dates, just) to date …” Vidales believes that most secular dating couples make intimate dating connections based on their lustful, self-seeking, motivations and desires.But because there isn’t a clear Biblical mandate, and because there is wisdom in both of the aforementioned “Yes! ” camps, you’ve got to do something to break the stalemate: intensely, seriously, pray.Maybe God has you right where He wants you and this relationship is about pulling her into the Kingdom, instead of drawing you away from God.One of the most important differences is that many Christians see dating as a step in the serious process of finding a life partner, not just a spouse.…”What did Matthews have to share about the nuances of secular dating?